I Am Shawn

Thoughts | Real Relationship

Thoughts Real Relationship

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Thoughts Real Relationship

“Things Change”, sometimes I just can’t handle that. A real relationship in my world changes all the time, sometimes I just can’t deal with the unbalanced see-saw. People come and go, I became numb to that feeling. Friendships and are the same thing in my world, if you think about it then it’s all about a “title”. If you’re old enough to work then you can understand this example of how some people act differently when they get that “title”. In my world real relationships always change, especially when that “title” comes along…

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S.Cushnie Presents

S.Cushnie Presents | Special Ed. Loser Kid

S.Cushnie Presents Special Ed. Loser Kid


I have been thinking about this title for a while now and I don’t know if anyone can understand where I’m coming from with this one. But I finally realized that I’m a real negative person, I can never pat myself on the back when I do something right but I can tell myself off when I do something wrong. It’s because of how I was raised, being a special ed student my whole schooling life. Never once did I hear in my household that I could get out of it or that I was smart for something. I told myself that I was good enough but I grew older the self-talk turned into doubt and misery.

Special Ed.

Self-doubt; secretly hate myself are trying to be positive. Being programmed to hate me for everything. Being dyslexic, being black, how my body looks. I’m just so afraid of myself. I never have anything nice to say to myself, funny, because I rather push people around that actually want to say nice things to my face. I love misery, I love the negatively at this point, it’s my mask, it’s my life, it’s my everything. Literally I am the enemy, the ultimate best villain to my fake super hero story.

Loser Kid

If I was a hero then I would love see myself win the war that I fight with myself every other day, the battle never stops. It’s never good, just gets worse! I don’t know if this darkness will ever leave me alone, I guess it always has a place in my soul…

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